Words Zahra K.
Header Credits Google.
To my daughter,
The apple of my eyes, my sunshine. When you came into this world I wanted to protect you with all I had. Those tiny eyes beaming at me with love, little fingers hands and feet, you were a part of me. God made this masterpiece and dropped it in my lap, gift wrapped.
There were 100 things I’d think of while I fed you. The lessons I learnt, the moments I lived, the pains I endured. I wanted you to know what life was before you came and lit up my small world. As you grew and so beautifully I learnt things I never thought you could teach me. Your kindness, the resilience you had, the love and laughter you showered. I wanted to safeguard you from heartbreaks and tell you the world is not what it looks like. It’ll break your heart, it’ll hurt you. Don’t be such an innocent soul… be tough, be smart.
There’s dignity in motherhood. Feeding and nurturing you was an experience unlike any other. Liberating and comforting. Reading out to you, bathing you, tying and braiding your hair, giving you little snippets about living life all along. I wanted you to become like me but at the same time, I didn’t want you to go through my sufferings. I wanted you to view life the way I did but not see the things I saw. I wanted you to know how it felt when I lost people but didn’t want you to feel the terrible pain.
When you began walking in my shoes(literally) you had your own opinions about things and looked at life differently. We fought because you had your own choices and I couldn’t come to accept why is it that a part of me doesn’t approve of things I do? I knew it could also be vice versa. But I am the mother and that has its own privileges. The more you grew, the more I saw myself in you. But with a twist. There was so much still left to tell you, teach you and guide you about.
I realised you were wiser, more emotionally intelligent than I ever was and I knew that life had taken a full circle now the way you nurtured and cared for me.
In the end, all I could do was kiss you goodbye with a hope that you’ll be a fighter, a warrior in your own battlefield. You proved me right and made me proud. Today, you are at the brink of motherhood and I know you’ll be a wonderful Mom, for if it wasn’t for you, I wouldn’t have known the ecstasy of this maternal kiss.