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Letters

September 16, 2016

Words Farida H.
Photograph Sakina K.

I created a new human which was safely delivered in November 2014.
My body did not change much, neither did my attitude.
My experiences with her are pretty weird, so I write about it. It is becoming history- but it will be legendary.
|Daughter turned Mother | Writer | Blogger |

In an era of emails and print outs, I write them in the shabbiest handwriting; but, I write them. I have hardly written any in my life, but now I do, to my daughter.

Ms.S., a budding personality who will soon turn two years old. Insha-allah, one day when I know it’s time, I shall pass these letters to her. Cheekiness and sarcasm are a part of my personality; I search for dark humor when and wherever I can. This is exactly how I am dealing with motherhood.

Every day is a challenge, a loss, a victory, but a lesson learnt. How different things shall be, I wonder; now and in future. Writing to her gives me a sense of control, holding back moments, just as they are, relishing them every time my eyes go through those words and sentences. Every time she will go through those words and sentences. Just like time travelling.

These letters are a reminiscence of grave situations, especially when she broke two precious crystal vases my father in law had bought, from some far away land a zillion years ago that cost a million dollars and how she scribbled on the wall of the house and we had no choice but to cover that patch by spending on a random new cupboard. Then, we will laugh.

I put pen to paper when I am in deep thought, when the world affects me, and I want her to know how I will stand by her. In case I can’t make it, these inked pieces of papers will.

Language, respect, patience, code of conduct and culture are the things I have written about until now. Pregnancy, being one major letter, that is where I had the chance to write, if she prayed enough, with strength patience and faith, her children insha-allah, would be as smart and wonderful as she is turning out to be.

Life will move on, time may tear us apart, uncertainty is a part of life, through these letters I see a little guiding light that will stay with her even after I am gone.